I’m not sure where I’m going to go with this, since I could pontificate about western culture and keeping our word and how the internet has helped make my generation socially retarded.

We live in an age where Facebook, MySpace and Friendster, or hi5 or whatever else is the new frontier of human relationships trumps human interaction for some reason. In fact, you could have 150 MSN contacts, 300 MySpace or Facebook friends and still be lonely and isolated and hardly ever leave your home. But that’s not specifically what I want to get at with today’s post.

It does seem the internet is a buffer that can enhance your reach with other human beings but is not going to satisfy if you use it to *replace* that human interaction. The internet and e-mailing is supposed to be an “as well” to our relationships, not an “instead of”. It also shouldn’t make us be bolder than how we’d be in face to face interaction.

That being as it may, I’ve noticed something that’s happened for years. Actually it may be that it’s always happened and my frustration about it has only increased in the recent years. I’m talking about communication and how we’ve gotten–my generation anyway–at doing it properly. I realize many of us get busy, and it’s hard to maintain contact with all the people we attempt to stay in touch with. HOWEVER, that is not what I’m addressing in this post, but a general attitude that we just throw our words and intentions around with absolutely no requirement placed on us to follow up on. As I’ve heard Dave Roberson say repeatedly, “talk is cheap when we’re not going to be held accountable for our words.”

So, I should first should apologize to anyone who has written me an e-mail or expected a phone call with me and I’ve not responded to it immediately–of course, I’m talking about personal emails–not bulk or junk or other mass mailings. Over time I’ve gotten swamped and sometimes it’s hard to respond to all of it in a prompt manner, and sometimes it just slips my mind (but pretty rarely). Then there’s the rare time, I get e-mails that I don’t want to dignify with a response or acknowledge that I read, but that mostly is in regard to internet theologians and arm-chair critics correcting me or our podcast’s e-mail to argue with us (a.k.a. me since Dan hardly checks the fireonyourhed@gmail account) –I just don’t have time to get sucked into internet debates. Skype me if you want to do it in a civilized way.

But anyway, I’ve noticed this before, and I’ve noticed it particularly recently: e-mails. If I write ten personal e-mails, I’ll probably get a response from only one of those people. I’ve tried it with different combinations of people and situations. Same thing. I’ve never actually counted it, but my point is still valid that written communication is pretty bogus.

Make no mistake, this is not a rant that people don’t answer my emails. This is an observational rant of the fact our generation has little clue how to be courteous with our relationships, including through–but not limited to–electronic means of communication. We think having a gillion Facebook contacts is having a relationship with people. We think (gosh darn it) that *saying* “let’s meet up and go for a coffee sometime” is the same thing as ACTUALLY doing it. I’m not talking about just Christians either, but just everybody everywhere.

From a lifestyle where I live on financial support and am out of town (and country) a lot, I hear all manners of intentions that never get followed up on–it’s just part of the territory–”I’ve been meaning to call you” or “my spouse and I would like to have you over for dinner” or “I believe God wants me to donate to you“. If you are like me in a lifestyle where your livelihood is dependent on people REMEMBERING (I have no doubt about ANY person’s good intentions), then you have to be ready to be disappointed because we human beings talk a lot about what we’re gonna do.

Then there are a small portion of human beings do. That’s my lesson in missionary living for today. I can’t keep track of all the social appointments I’d be swamped with if people actually followed up on them with me. In fact, that’s one thing I got challenged with in my life while visiting Peru–that when people there heard me say I’d do something, they expected me to and I got called on it! Unlike here in Canada or the U.S.A, it’s “just part of the territory” that we hardly ever actually do whatever we say.

The rest, I couldn’t help but glean a little bit from talking to SJ Hill this morning over skype. He related to me that, as a man nearing 60, and being part-time faculty at the FIRE School of Ministry–a place whose aim is to raise up leaders and world changers–how often young people my age want to meet with him, but stand him up for coffee appointments. Or how people want to be mentored and he has to call them because they never follow through. After talking, he really encouraged me to go ahead and write about this on my blog (with love) for anybody who reads this and doesn’t know how to keep appointments or doesn’t follow through on any thing they say.

Of all people, the Christian should be depended on to actually mean what they say, and DO it, no? Why are words just fluff? My brother constantly refers to this behavior in his friends and co-workers as “blowing smoke out of their _____” When people hear you say you’ll do something, do they wait until you aren’t looking to roll their eyes in disbelief? I’ve learned never to let someone hear me say “sure you will” out loud sarcastically to any of their vows or intentions. In fact, I’m getting really good at not even thinking it, but just realizing for some reason that’s just the culture I live in. Our words don’t mean anything anymore. If I’m going to write an e-mail to people, I don’t write long ones or too much detail anymore, because what’s the point? I’ve only got a one in ten chance of getting a response–I don’t even know if the other person will read it, since after all, if they don’t respond, it’s probably because they didn’t read it?

I’ve said in conversations or dinner table situations with people–how are we going to spread revival and shake a nation with the Gospel, if we can’t even do any SIMPLE thing we say we’ll do? If we don’t have integrity in little things, then how will we be trusted with big things? Those of us who strive to live holy, make sure to avoid obvious sins like not engaging in immoral activity, but what about ’smaller’ issues of integrity like being dependable? Why would personal holiness only include things like not doing drugs, smoking or viewing porn, but not include things like being careful what we say with our mouth? Is lying still a sin? If we say we’ll do something and then don’t, is that somehow an ok way to lie? I’m being tongue and cheek, but still think this is pretty serious stuff for all of us to give careful consideration of.

I don’t like ranting on my blog unless I have a solution, and my solution is simple: let’s be people of our word and of integrity.

Please don’t write me an e-mail to complain about something I’ve forgotten to do, or point out obvious examples of me not living up to this post, because there are PLENTY of flaws you could point out.

And besides, I’d hate to not get around to responding.