Fire On Your Head

“From the fig tree learn its lesson: as soon as its branch becomes tender and puts out its leaves, you know that summer is near. So also, when you see these things taking place, you know that he is near, at the very gates. Truly, I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.” (Mark 13:28-31 ESV)

We’ve been looking a lot in my articles lately about the kingdom of God, the Word of God specifically in the context and imagery of seed,  which is the Word of God (Luke 8:11).

In my studies and meditations on this concept of ’seed’, I was compelled to think even further on how seed–including sowing and reaping–works in the natural realm.  Even though fruit for example, is delicious, and different ones have different uses for our healthy diets, the primary purpose of the flesh on a fruit is not to add potassium or fiber to the human body, though that is obviously a good use for it.  But at the core of an apple, you find more seeds.  If the fruit were left on the branches of the tree, eventually the fruit falls to the ground, rots, and the seeds are sown into the ground.  Those seeds don’t give forth life or reproduce after their own kind until a death has taken place.  Only when the seed dies, and a rupture happens, leaving the seed to give forth life and take on a form it wasn’t previously, will a new plant emerge, and produce fruit again.  And in the next generation of fruit, will be contained therein the same DNA of the seed that was sown.  This cycle perpetuates itself indefinitely until or unless something stops it.  When nature is left to its course, the seed is never lost or destroyed despite the death and decay around it when the fruit falls to the ground off the branches and even if the tree itself rots or is intentionally destroyed by an outside source, the seed will remain.

Likewise, the Word of the Lord never perishes even though heaven and earth will pass away (Mark 13:31).  I was recently talking to a missionary friend of mine telling me how much he’s upset other missionaries and other established Christian ministries in the area he’s called to.  When he leads people in the baptism in the Holy Spirit, casts demons out of the oppressed, or heals the sick with the power of the seed implanted in him , other Christians get nervous and tell his disciples and followers to ‘be careful’.  We’ve had no problem passing on doctrines and dead works down through the ages of the Church, but those things are usually that which rots and decays–the flesh.  But he notes that whenever people need a miracle or a devil cast out of someone, they don’t hesitate to call on him.  The law kills but the Spirit gives life, therefore it’s this life we should be imparting.  Not the flesh that protects the seed, but the seed itself.  People will notice and be able to tell the difference.

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12)

It is this living word that is intended to be passed on.   Genesis 1:11 mentions how the earth sprouts vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.  If the church can exist in certain areas of the world and all that’s being produced is dead works and dry religion, then it’s because that’s the seed that’s being sowed.  As a leader of mine in Holland says, we can’t give what we don’t have.  If the living breathing Word of God is not resident in us, it won’t come forth in others.  If we’re not seeing The Spirit move in others, it’s because He’s not moving in us either.  Simple as that.  Many theologians can write books, blogs, or just plain be armchair critics about what is the proper way to minister this or teach that.  But the fruit they are producing tells what they really sow.  We can all teach what we know and think, but we reproduce who we are. So who are you?  And what seeds are you sowing in others?  What fruit are you reproducing?

Don’t hinder others’ seeds from sprouting

A rut we believers tend to fall into when sowing the seed–the Word of God–into peoples’ lives, is to not let it do its own work.  I’m not against, nor am I contradicting the efforts made towards discipleship and helping other believers mature in Christ.  I’m not even against confrontation and rebuking where specific sin is present that the Bible admonishes us to deal with in both our lives and those of each other.  What I am talking about is digging up the seed to see if it’s doing anything under the surface or to see why progress we may be expecting hasn’t happened yet.  Sometimes when we lead new believers to Christ, we tell them all the things they now can’t do, but don’t teach them what they can do.  We start accountability structures and relationships that are fear-based and revolve around consequences if one messes up, because deep down we’re afraid the Holy Spirit really isn’t going to bring other people into maturity as well as we believe we could.  Of course we don’t admit it to ourselves or even believe that’s what we think.

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout,  giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;  it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” (Isaiah 55: 10-11)

God knows what He’s doing, and if we’ve been faithful in sowing the seed of His Word, we don’t need to add extra fleshly rules to that soil, of what we can and can’t do as believers.  Another friend of mine was just chatting with me on MSN and reminded me that there are fewer basic non-negotiables to the Gospel and the message of Christ in the believer that most of us like to admit.  However, we have made up lots of other stuff that boils down to personal convictions (personal preferences) that we’re not willing to die for in order to ‘be right’ but that’s another blog entry or podcast show altogether!  The Spirit of grace inside us, along with the implanted Word of Christ will bring forth the fruit if that’s what we’ve sown in them, and had sown and watered in us.  If the seed has the basic elements it needs to grow, then it will.

One time as a child, a buddy of mine and I were at our other friend’s house on a hot summer day to go swimming in his family’s above-ground swimming pool.  I can’t remember if we were 8 or 9 years old, but we somehow got the brilliant idea that we’d do this friend’s mom a favor and water her flowers in the backyard.  We didn’t realize that using the pool water was actually bad, as it contained chlorine and such chemicals designed to neutralize and kill certain bacteria to help keep the pool clean.  What was good and healthy for that pool’s usage, was NOT good and healthy for my friend’s mom’s garden plants and flowers.  In our immaturity, we had good and well meaning intentions, but it was a deadly idea, and his mom saw us out the window and came outside and stopped us and explained that though she saw the intention of our hearts, our effort would actually kill, and hinder any fruit from being produced.

Sometimes we do likewise when we try to water other peoples’ seeds using conditions and standards that aren’t applicable to every plant in the garden.  We actually spread death when we try spreading certain religious concepts onto each others’ lives from the outside, instead of letting the Holy Spirit within water the implanted Word of Christ.  We are only overcomers of the flesh (soul) when we are strong in our spirit.  We are just picking rotting fruit off the tree when we try fixing problems using fleshly/soulish and external solutions, rather than going to the root:

Let no one disqualify you, insisting on asceticism and worship of angels, going on in detail about visions, puffed up without reason by his sensuous mind, and not holding fast to the Head, from whom the whole body, nourished and knit together through its joints and ligaments, grows with a growth that is from God. If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations— ”Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch”  referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to human precepts and teachings? These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh. (Colossians 2:18-23)

Usually the self-made regulations we add in order to try watering that seed are of no use in actually doing the work we’re attempting to accomplish with it.  If we understand that flesh in Scripture doesn’t just specifically and only represent the more obvious and outrageous sin, but categorically those seemingly ‘good’ deeds, though noble, but not birthed of the Spirit, then we can chalk up good intentions and personal disciplines to that which leads to death like Paul talked about in Romans 8:

“For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” (v. 7-8).

The solution is found in the two verses preceding it:

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”

A lot of works of ministry and a lot of personal disciplines are just works of flesh, and not of the Spirit.  If you want to overcome the deeds of the flesh, then sow to your spirit and whatever you sow you will reap (Gal 6:7).  If all flesh is like grass and will fade away, then why use that fleshly grass to enhance our personal disciplines and water the seed with substance other than the Word which abides forever (1 Peter 1:24-25)?

When we eat a fruit, say an apple for example, the fruit’s flesh itself that we eat is useful for food, but itself is of no use toward reproducing more apples.  It protects the seeds found in the core, which are then used for reproducing more apples.  The human male body’s flesh substance itself won’t produce new life, but the seed inside him being protected by his body used in the reproduction process will.  Therefore if it’s so in the natural, why do we operate in the opposite fashion so often in the spiritual, and as Colossians 2 states, do things that in and of themselves are of no use in stopping the gratification of the flesh?

That being said, whether you’re a leader in the church or someone who edifies others in the Body of Christ, you will reap what you sow, and can only give what you have.  Let’s fan into flame the Spirit in the lives of one another, and not the deeds and not self-made religion, and other such things we think are of living water, but are actually loaded with poisonous chlorine and hinders growth and life.

Attached is a humorous video I found on YouTube of the effect I’ve seen some Christian ’sheep’ have on others in the Body of Christ that although not specifically related to this topic shared, I thought was amazingly accidentally profound in showing the same concept, for what is a skeleton mask representing other than that which is dead and lifeless?  Well, you get the lighthearted point.  I think like this sheep, we have the same effect on others in the flock of God when we are trying to spread our ‘dead’ works.

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither.  In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away.” (Psalm 1:1-4)

A tree–and pretty much all plants and vegetation in general–need several things in order to grow and produce their corresponding fruit: proper soil, water, and sunlight. If you water it too much and/or only give it water, then it will get waterlogged and die. If you don’t give it any, and it only gets heat and sunlight, also, it will die.  But the soil also needs to be in correct condition.  For example of this, the parable of the sower (Matthew 13:1-9, 18-23 ) details the different outcomes of having the seed fall on different types of ground.  In Psalm 1 we’re given a few contrasts between the righteous and the wicked which I’d like to focus on.   The man who delights in the law of the Lord is contrasted with the man who doesn’t, but walks in the counsel of the wicked and sits in the seat of the scornful.  Here we’re told not that the man who delights in the law of the Lord and meditates on it day and night is not like a seed, but how he’s like a tree planted by streams of living water.  The man of wickedness, like a leaf that withers.

It stands to reason that if the righteous man is the one who grows, and prospers, it would be necessary to know how the he does so.  Therefore we need to be delighting in the law of the Lord if we’re to prosper and be blessed in all areas of righteousness–through both the rhema revelation and the logos written Word, studying it, getting into it deep and sinking our roots deep into it.   Only from having these conditions in place in our own lives, will we be able to extract the image from the seed, the Word of God.  The man who does this, yields fruit in season, and in all that he does he prospers.  It’s also necessary to realize is that one must to do this regularly, as indicated in the words ‘day and night’.  As the saying goes, an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but not if you only eat one apple and nothing else in the course of a day!

First, a little bit about my approach to reading/studying/interpreting the Bible:  since all Scripture is God-inspired,  then the meaning of one passage is tied into the one before it and breeds the meaning of the one following.   All the parables, teachings and stories are like the strokes of a much larger painting.  All of it ties together.  Therefore, passages like Psalm 1 don’t require a lot of scholarly study to understand, and if we just read the whole thing in context we can understand the individual verses contained therein.  As good as it is to memorize individual Scripture verses, I think it’s even better to meditate on entire chapters of Scripture and entire stories or parables than just individual verses.  Doing so helps avoid accidentally (or intentionally) lifting sentences out of context.

So let’s have at it:  if a blessed man walks not in the counsel of the wicked, and all the things detailed in the first two verses, then that means the unrighteous man does the opposite.  If a righteous man is like a tree firmly planted, then a wicked person is not (I know, deep revelation, but bear with me).  And if an unrighteous person is not getting his counsel from the law of the Lord then by necessity he’s getting his counsel somewhere else –as James 3:13-18 explains, from below.  And by ‘below’, I don’t mean the ground, but the pit of hell.

We read in passages like Luke 6:43-44 that no good tree bears bad fruit, and vice versa.  There’s only two options, good or bad, fruitful or unfruitful, righteous or wicked, good fruit or bad fruit.  That which is below or that which is from above.  A wicked person who is not firmly planted near the streams of living water is not going to yield fruit as though he were firmly planted in good soil.  Verse 45 goes on to say that the good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.   Therefore, it’s no wonder the very next thing Jesus proceeds to teach here in Luke 6 is about building your house on a rock so that it withstands the storm.  The idea of building and construction is linked to sowing, reaping, growing and harvesting in this context.  The fact Luke writes them one immediately following the other in his Gospel allows us to assume they are a part of the same flow of thought Jesus was teaching here.

“Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.” (Luke 6:47-49)

For years I read that passage of Scripture as though it were talking about the believer and the unbeliever, the righteous versus the unrighteous.  However, both individuals heard, but only one did what he heard, the other didn’t, and the storms and cares of this life knocked the structure down.

So why am I saying all that, and how exactly do we extract the content of the incorruptible seed of Christ in us?  Those passages then being a loose framework for us to work with provide some steps for obtaining revelation knowledge and extracting the image from the seed :

1) Put into practice what you learn from the Word of Christ

This is of the utmost importance in growing in Him and extracting revelation knowledge from the seed.  In receiving the implanted word, James 1:21-25 talks of making sure to be doers of the Word of Christ, which would be building your house on the rock, versus being a listener only–building on sandy foundations.  One person extracts the image from inside the seed BY obeying what Christ teaches and the other didn’t and the ruin of his house was great.

“But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.” (James 1:25)

2) Submit to fiery trials in your life

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4)

Under circumstances like heat, and fiery trials in life, we’re capable of having squeezed out of us just what’s really inside our hearts. It is these moments that reveal our true character. Sometimes the greatest opportunity for our faith to grow, is from under pressure, and remember, your faith has no perishing point (1 Peter 1:7).  The light of the sun is vital and a crucial component to the growth of any vegetation–the same way muscle doesn’t grow except under resistance.  But your true, tried, and tested genuine faith will survive the heat, and you will be refined and made purer, and steadfastness is produced in your life the way fruit grows from the tree planted by that stream of living water.

3) Create the right conditions in your life for the growth

Like I’ve already mentioned, certain conditions need to be right for the seed to sprout and germinate properly.  We see this exact same concept exemplified in the parable of the sower where the same seed is scattered in each instance, but the conditions are different, and the seed that sprouted up immediately is the one that withers and dies under the heat–the pressure and trials of life.  The soil of our hearts has to be right, or else the seed doesn’t go deep and develop any roots.  You can’t have too much sunlight, and yet can’t have too little.  You can’t have too much water, yet you can’t have too little.

Likewise, if you have too shallow of soil, the roots can’t grow deep.  Several years ago for my birthday when I was living as a missionary in Holland, some dear Dutch sisters gave me a vetplante.  I’m by no means an expert on plants and flowers, but it had very thick leaves and had an interesting ‘rubber’ like texture.  They gave it to me in a small pot, and told me it could go weeks without being watered, so that way I wouldn’t have to worry about watering it every day or having it die if I left for a few days.  Not only that, but if I put it in a larger bowl or pot, the plant would grow even larger.  Such is the case with our lives–we can only dig our roots as deep as how much room we have to grow in, and without deep roots, we’ll not have much fruit to blossom where we’re planted.

I could write a whole post on just what is needed to break up the fallow ground of one’s heart, but I think this article here that I stumbled across does an excellent job.

4) Don’t fragment the seed

The seed itself also has to be left in tact.  Nobody who knows a thing or two about farming would take a seed and split it into pieces smaller than it already is, and then sow each piece and expect a bigger harvest.  Nor would they expect partial incomplete harvest, because none would be obtained.  Why?  The image in the seed would have been destroyed by splitting and dividing it.  You can’t sow just the part of the seed responsible for leaves, and then just the part of the seed responsible for fruit, and just the part of the seed that will be responsible for wood, and expect to grow any of those components independent of the other. They are all a part of the same package.  Likewise it is with the heavenly seed, the Word of God.  We can’t add to it or take away from it.  We can’t split up any of its aspects and over-emphasize one component over the other. It all works and accomplishes something together.  We sow it as it is. The Holy Spirit will work with the written text of the Bible He authored.

5) Confess and Speak the Word

To repeat, Luke 6:45 states that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.   There’s a correlation between what someone believes & thinks in their heart, and what they choose to speak out.  Simply put, confession is a statement of your beliefs.

Ephesians 5: 18b- 20 states:

“Be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ”

So what are you saying with your mouth?  I recommend this previous article for further Bible study on speaking and meditating on the Word of God.  If you’re storing the Word of God in your heart, you’re off to a good start in terms of stuff that you’ll be able to pull out of it and confess with your mouth based on both memory and from the Holy Spirit having something in you to draw upon.

6) Pray in tongues & Allow the Holy Spirit to work Through You

Jesus said Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ’Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’ (John 7:38)  He was talking about the Holy Spirit, who ‘waters’ this seed–Word of God in us, and supplies the power to bring it to fruition.  All that you need to live holy and grow in Christ is contained in that seed.  Again, the Holy Spirit will work with the written text of the Bible He authored.

In conclusion, this list is by no means exhaustive, nor are spiritual disciplines in the Word walk limited to just these things listed, but I thought those things would help you out with unpacking the content of the faith seed.

If you’ve stumbled across this article and have never visited this site before and would like to go deeper into some of the material covered in this post further–besides the many hyperlinks throughout this article–the following are some previous posts that go into more detail:

What are You Feeding Your Tree?,  Treasures of the Heart, How’s Your Connection?, The Spirit of Truth

And please forgive me if my posts lately have had more links than a Polish sausage factory.  I just feel that these issues of personal discipline are of significant importance and I want to draw attention to other places where I covered this stuff so my individual articles aren’t too long.

Few books have come into my hands in the last few years that have made me want to get other people to read it. When I read a few reviews online about this book by Dr. Stephen Crosby stating it would cause ‘uproar‘ and ‘explosion‘ in the modern charismatic and apostolic movements, I thought it was just melodramatic hype trying to sell the book. I was wrong, this book is very solid Scripturally, very powerful, very relevant in many circles I’m acquainted with, and just plain liberating to hear someone say what many people like me are thinking, but yet not writing off the ‘apostolic’ and throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

I got my hands on it from a woman in my church fellowship who was searching for Biblical answers in the aftermath of our horrific church split this past August. She had stumbled across a chapter of this book online, it made an impact on her, and so she bought it. She and her husband bought boxes of it, in the hopes of being able to give a copy to every person, couple or family on both sides of our church split, since the very issues that precipitated that falling out were over apostleship, church structure, and church government. I had little desire to read it since I had to read a good half dozen like it in Bible school, but since it was being offered for free, and I appreciated that this couple wanted to sow this into all of us, I decided to give it a read.

Boy am I glad I did. It was refreshing.

Wherever you’re at in your local fellowship, or even opinions on the subject, this book will be a valuable study on what the Scriptures say, and the roles of the modern day ‘apostle’, ‘prophet’, and ‘elder’ within the modern Body of Christ, in contrast to what their intended roles are as stated in Scripture.

One thing I knew before going into this book is that despite what we’d all like to think about our own ideals of how we do should do church, and what our own denominational stances are–the Scriptures still don’t give a blueprint in the Bible on how church structure and government should be handled. We merely have principles to glean from. Yet, there seems to be no bigger cause of church splits than this very issue. I have to admit, that after the last 6 months I’ve grown sick of hearing the word apostle, but now I’ve been forced to admit–I’m just sick of the abuse of the concept, not the actual concept of apostles in the modern and local sense. I’m really just sick of controlling and manipulative false apostles passing themselves off as the real thing. Of course I see in Scripture the idea of modern apostles and prophets! I just don’t see much of what passes as those things in the contemporary church as actually genuinely being Biblical or what is demonstrated in the book of Acts or New Testament epistles.

It’s like in the Body of Christ, not just charismatics, we latch onto a concept, and it may actually be Biblical. In fact, we get an understanding restored that we’d been previously lacking or overlooking, and in the midst of seeking to restore something to Christianity, we fill the void with whatever comes along purporting to be that lost doctrine or idea. Such is what I think of modern day apostles and prophets. I’m not against them being for today, I’m just against most of the ones that call themselves those titles when they’re really not. We’ve filled the vacuum with substitutes in a desperate attempt to get those things back in their place in our church structure, and it’s caused untold damage in the process.

That being said, Crosby seems to have a lot of the same concerns as I do, but speaks with more authority, experience and insight than I have a right to speak from which makes me refer his book to you. I personally have heard for much my saved life, especially since being attached to charismatic circles, talk of making sure we have the correct form and then the blessings will fall and we’ll see revival break out–so long as we’re aligned properly to some ‘apostolic covering’. Of this, Crosby says early on in his book:

Inherent in the contingent blessing and recovered order mindset is a legal spirit of perfectionism and qualified grace: “If we just get things right enough, God will come through in greater measure than we have known.” In this premise, humanity’s obedience conditions God’s initiation. A dubious proposition, if true, that begs this question: How much obedience must we produce in order to release the blessing? How much has to be “in order” and aligned governmentally to qualify for the supposed release of the Spirit? If the blessing follows the alleged alignment, then we have merited it by our correctness of form. This thinking is idealism and perfectionism contrary to the spirit of Gospel grace. The truth is, none of us will ever be “right enough” in motive, spirit, expression, or form to merit God’s blessing. Our obedience is the fruit of God’s blessing, not the root of His blessing. Of course we need to pursue order and bring our churches in to order. We need His blessing in order to do so. We do not earn His blessing because we have accomplished it. (page 39)

Other things Crosby states and explains with extensive use of Scripture, is many of the concepts and examples used in the Bible for such forms of so-called apostolic leadership, are usually taken out of the Old Testament, of which we now have a BETTER covenant through Jesus Christ–one where all believers are a kingdom of priests, and not only some special anointed believers.

I particularly appreciated in the later chapters of the book, how the author empowers the reader to understand they don’t need special permission from their leader to step out in obedience to their calling. I’ve never had such extreme examples happen to me personally, but I’ve been in situations where people wouldn’t let me pray for a person needing deliverance because I wasn’t a pastor. I’ve had certain leadership in my life in the past who wanted me to seek their permission to make mundane daily decisions where I never understood why they felt the right to impose such authority over me. I’ve had someone suggest to me I have no business writing a blog or publishing a podcast because I’m laity (an unqualified nobody) and “who would listen to what I have to say if I had no clout or specific covering overseeing what I teach on it?” This opinion is oblivious to the fact I’m operating in my gifts, calling and skills, and that ‘audience’ doesn’t matter–obedience to Christ does.

So in closing so this isn’t so long you don’t bother to read the book, I was amazed to read a quote like the following in the latter portion of Authority, Accountability, and the Apostolic Movement:

Shocking as it may be to some, there is not a single New Testament verse that says the blood of Jesus covers us. Blood covering is a thoroughly Old Covenant concept; one that is temporary, not permanent. One of the most significant changes from the Old to New Covenant is what was only covered in the Old is washed, purged, cleansed and utterly removed in the New. Sin that is covered is sin that is still present. Jeopardy exists if the covering is removed. Sin that is washed has been removed. There is no jeopardy, no danger. The pitiable psychological and practical reality is that most Christians live like their sin is covered, not gone. They live their lives in the constant dread of being discovered as not being up to date on their sin, as if some of it was going to leak through the blood covering like ice cream on a dip-top cone on a summer day. They live in perpetual fear of sin leakage and the risk of the punishment it entails. (p. 136)

There is no greater jeopardy than to be confronted with ones sins before a holy God. If Christ has taken care of this dread, not by covering, but by washing, from what do believers need protection, and who on earth is going to provide it more than Christ has already done? Apostles? Hardly. (p.136)

I have no idea what to anticipate this book will do if read by certain people. It’s been out since 2006, but I can’t imagine very many so-called apostles are very happy about it. The best thing you could do with this book if you want to put it into the hands of some leaders, pastors and apostles, is to do so in a humble spirit and politely ingratiate yourself towards them. Crosby didn’t write this in a mean spirited or bitter attitude based on something in his past, so it would be a shame if people were turned off of this book by misunderstanding what it’s about or why you’re sharing it with them in the first place. But I think anyone in some form of leadership, or anybody who’s ever been burned by a church split, or by abusive leadership should read this book and pass it on.

Consider www.stevecrosby.com if you’d like to purchase a copy from the author’s site.  If you’d like to read a sample chapter of the book, click here.

I am just finishing up a new biography on one of the most beloved prophet-hearted teachers in American history. It’s entitled A Passion for God: The Spiritual Journey of A.W. Tozer, and it’s written by Lyle Dorsett. I have long loved Tozer’s writings and messages. For over a decade I’ve relished in his insights and fed off of his knowledge of God, and the intensity of his worshipping heart. I’ve read some of the other bio’s on A.W., but this biography is a real gem, and I’m commending it to all of the pastors and laborers in our fellowship here in Kansas City.

It tells of his formation as a man of prayer and incessant worship. It tells of the trials he endured and the stretchings he experienced. It inspires us to forsake a vain pursuit of ministry-breadth, and calls us back to the pursuit of depth in the secret place. Tozer’s relentless longing for the presence and person of God grabs us by the collar of our professional or subjective ideas on ministry, and plops us down in the dust on the backside of the desert. Before long we see the glow of the bush again, and remember why and how we ever put our sandals back on and proceeded to face the people.

I am jolted again. This man labored for 4-plus decades- contending for the faith, reaching out to souls in darkness, setting aright faddish movements and faulty doctrines. Most of all, every soul that was remotely close to A.W. Tozer knew that there were at least 5 hours a day where he was intently removed from all contact with anyone other that the God of Majesty. He knew what it was to behold the uncreated One, to love Him, to listen to Him, to gaze upon Him with delightful and sometimes awe-full attentiveness. He didn’t need adrenalin, entertainment, or programmatic pick-me-ups to bear up his walk with the Lord. He had what Moses had…what David had…what the prophets had…what Paul had. He had a singleness of heart in pursuit after the God of Israel, and he was not willing for anything to stand in the way of that impassioned vision.

I wonder how far we have fallen from this kind of Davidic intensity.

Still, there is another stinging thing in the story of A.W. Tozer. Many believers who have been profoundly affected by his teachings are unaware of the manner of his life at home, and even the manner of his death. He died in a Canadian hospital room in the year of 1963. He was all by himself. He was alone in his death as he was in his life.

One of his colleagues noted that one of the last remarks he ever heard Tozer make was this:

“I have had a lonely life.”

The young revivalist may read this and unleash a heroic cry: “Yes! This is the price that every true man of God pays. You cannot follow the Lord and make friends with every one around you.”

Indeed, this is true. When we cling to the Lord in this life, there will be great opposition and trial. But mere loneliness is not a sign of prophetism, and isolation from family and friends is not necessarily a hallmark of an eternity-centered life. We were created for community.

As Gordon Fee points out, the idea of salvation in the mind of Paul was never primarily a thought toward whether an individual person would be able to make it to heaven or not. Salvation, in the hebraic mind of the early apostles, was a picture of God’s Kingdom breaking into a society and wrenching loose a group of souls from the spirit of this age, that they might be formed and fashioned together by the power of the Spirit into a Body that expresses the very nature of Christ. In other words, we need Christ (!), but we are not likely to experience Him fully if we don’t also experience Him through our experiences in family life and church life.

Life is a fragile thing. “Man is but a mere breath,” the psalmist declares (Psm. 144.4a). I wept on numerous occasions in the reading of Tozer’s biography. For the first time I saw areas of his life that I had never seen before. Gaping holes. Perhaps he was oblivious to them. Perhaps his engagement with ministry travels, reading, writing, preaching, and the remarkable amount of time he spent in “speechless adoration” of Christ filled his plate to the extent that he was incapable of figuring in other necessary Kingdom responsibilities and privileges.

The most heart-wrenching of these blind-spots was his inability, over the course of 40-plus years, to connect relationally with his wife Ada and their 7 children. He also struggled with connecting relationally to the vast majority of the saints who were under his care for all of those decades. They say that he and Ada never fought or argued (as best as we know), nor was there ever a known issue of infidelity or abuse. There was simply this radical, unexplainable inability to relate with his wife and kids to the extent that he would be a presence in their lives. He would be drawn to them as long as they were babies, but when it got past that, he struggled to father them. The story goes that his father was a hardworking farm-man who was quite non-relational himself. I would assume that this passed to his sons and daughters, and it certainly seems that way with A.W.

When Tozer died, though Ada had scarcely (if ever) complained about their distant relationship, she made several things clear. Both she and the children (all adults by the time of his death) were in agreement that they knew very little about this man whose teachings and writings have sent waves of revelation through many hungry hearts. This, to me, is a tragedy of tragedies.

It is not enough to say that “a prophet is not without honor except in his own town.” (Mt. 13.57) Too long have preachers been presumptuously putting themselves in the sandals of Jesus, and blaming the unhealthy condition of their families on the requirements of ministry. We are not Jesus, friends.

Most of us have spouses. Most of us have children. What shall they declare at our funerals? What will our children leave with when they move on into adulthood?

I was told that after A.W. died, Ada was asked if she missed him. She had been re-married by this time. Her reply was tragic to me. She said something like this: “A.W. was God’s man, but my new husband is my man.” Oh, that it would not be said of us! May we be wholly given to Him, and to those whom He has given us.

Ironically, a few weeks ago I had just picked up this Tozer bio, and was really getting into it. The kids were playing outside so I decided to sit on the patio in my chair. The plan was to get into the bio (I have a thing for books, in case you didn’t know) while being close enough to supervise the children. As I was reflecting on the fact that Tozer’s children barely knew him, I was looking at his face on the front of the book. Just then, my son Simeon said,

“Daddy, will you play ball with me?”

There was a trembling that went through my soul, and it was as if Tozer was bellowing from the heavens, “Bryan! Don’t look at him the way I looked at mine. Look him in the eye. He is a little boy with a soul, and with his own thoughts, and he is sensitive to you. His heart is beating for you to father him. He is awaiting you, and he will never forget your response to him in this moment. There is a vast difference between ’supervision’ and fathering.”

I set the book down, and played catch with my son.

I do tremble, friends. I tremble at the busyness of our American ways. I tremble at the awesome responsibility and privilege of raising these boys and girls. I weep over the fact that it is so easy for us to be engaged in ourselves- even religiously- to the neglect of our spouses, or children, or congregation members, or unbelieving neighbors.

As I was praying into this some days later, I had a strong word of Fatherly caution from the Lord:

“You’ve got one shot at this, son.”

18 or 20 years is all we have with our children. What shall they take from us? Will they feel like it was a mere obligation for us to feed them and care for them? Will they feel like we really didn’t want them around? Will they feel like all of our talk about the nature of God was mere flourish or rhetoric? Will they feel that they are valued and cherished? Will they have been fathered? mothered? Or just raised? I believe that God desires to give us wisdom and love enough to be a literal representation of Himself in the home. We will certainly miss the mark here and there, but He will enable us to actively engage them with a whole heart. To hear them, for real. To speak into them, for real. To love them, for real. That’s fathering and mothering, and it’s an awesome privilege available to us all.

“One shot…”

The great revivalist Leonard Ravenhill, who was in many ways mentored by Tozer, used to say that you can’t catch up your prayer life when you get to the judgment seat of Christ. I certainly agree, and he was a man to back up his talk with a real value for prayer and intercession.

I’d like to acknowledge another cut in this fine diamond of discipleship. We can’t catch up our parenting, or the way we treated our spouses, or the depth of our humility toward others at the judgment seat either. We have one shot, saints. It will be a journey, and we will all trip up and fall in one way or another along the way. But abandoning ship is not an option. We’ve got to face our spouses, face our children, face our congregations, knowing that we’ve got “one shot” with all of them.

Whitefield said to speak every time as if it were our last, and “compel them to cry, ‘Behold, how He loves us.’”

I want to burn with a passion for God like Tozer did. I want to know the long seasons of adoration, awe, and intercession. I want to stand as a pillar in the household of faith. I want to exalt Christ and cling to the cross, fixing my eyes on Him while the latest fads rise and fall.

I also want to love and tremble toward those who are closest and most familiar to me. We all have those who are most familiar…spouses, children, parents, neighbors, fellow believers. I want to see a generation of preachers raised up who are aware of the mercies of God, are immersed in His love, and who walk with a “one shot” consciousness. They look at each person with a radical value, a Spirit-dependent outlook. They make priority for prayer and scripture as Tozer did, while stretching out the tent of time and relationship for those whom the Lord has given them.

Every occasion is another “shot.” Every conversation with the wife…”one shot.” Every seemingly irrelevant question from a child…”one shot.” Every interaction with an unbeliever…”one shot.” Every time of secret prayer and scripture reading…”one shot.” Every opportunity to father our sons and daughters…”one shot.” The self-absorbed are distracted, double-minded and cowardly. But the true servant of the Lord sees the “one shot” and takes it, while others are passing by as the proverbial stranger in a rush-hour traffic jam. May our eyes be opened to see that every occasion is another shot at learning and dispensing the very love of Christ.

Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
May your deeds be shown to your servants,
your splendor to their children. – Psalm 90.12, 16